From the February 2008 Seabreeze News:
| A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket." The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married." The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles. "Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!" Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.'' When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?'' Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him. The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!'' Two Indians and a Cajun were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering. ”Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Cajun was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. “Was he crazy or what?” “No,” said the Indian. ”It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see a cave, they holler “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate.” Just then they saw another cave. The Cajun wondered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, “dammit man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than what dem Indians done found. Dey must be some really big, fine woman in dis here cave!” He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might “W00000! Wooooo! Wooooo!” He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call. “WOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO!” With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his faceinto the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The headline of the next issue of the Seabreeze read… “NAKED CAJUN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN” A woman was having trouble trimming her dog around his paws. She asked the vet how to do this, and he told her to use depilatory cream, like Nair. “is it safe for dogs?” she asked. “Oh yes, it’s fine” the vet assured her. So she went to the drugstore and asked the pharmacists if he had Nair. He quickly found it for her, then advised, “Now Miss, if you’re going to be using this under your arms, I would recommend that you not use deodarant for a day or two, as it may irritate the skin>“ “Oh, it’s not for my underarms” she assured him. “Well, if you’re going to use it on your legs, I wouldn’t advise wearing pantyhose for a day or two then” he replied. “Oh it’s not for my legs either” she answered, “I’m going to put it on my schnauser!” Looking first confused, then embarrassed, the pharmacist politely said, “Well, in that case don’t ride a bicycle for a couple of days!” |
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