This guy walks into a bar, looking depressed. He saddles up to the bar, cradles his head in his arms, and sits there being miserable. The sweet little redheaded bartender comes up to him and asks: "Hey man, what's wrong?"
He answers: "Oh hell, I just found out that my younger brother is gay"
So she offers him a drink on the house.
The next day, the same guy walks into the bar, looking even more depressed. "What's the matter?" says the bartender. "Well" the man says, "you won't believe it, my middle brother is also gay!" "Here" sighs the bartender, and gives the guy another drink on the house.
Two days pass, and the poor guy comes in looking devastated. "Dammit man!" says the bartender, what happened to you?" " Well, I just found out that my older brother is gay too. I don't know what to do!"
Isn't there anybody in your family who likes women?" the bartender asked. The shattered man looks up, eyes red, and answers pitifully, "Yeah, my sister..."

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son. Michael says, "How long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "At least wait until he's walking."

The doctor says to old Thibodeaux, "I'll need a urine sample, a semen sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample." The old Cajun silently hands the doc his underwear.

The folks in a little redneck town urge the Constable to arrest the local homosexual. Seems he's been propositioning all the teenage boys in town.  So the Constable arrests the fag and says to him, "ok, you've got 15 minutes to blow this town!" The fag says, "As if! I'll need at least two hours."

One very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait. "But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now." "Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs." "Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room. "So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of the hookers and, after looking for a place to consummate the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and fall to the sidewalk. A passing drunk looks them over, staggers to the door, and knocks. "Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks!" "I don't want in," says the drunk. "I just wanted to tell you that your sign fell down."
Two cannibals are sitting down to eat this great big fat guy that they had just killed, and they are discussing who gets to eat what. So they decide that one will start at his head, and the other at his toes. So they are eating away and one cannibal says to the other, "Hey this guy is delicious, isn't this great?" The other cannibal says, "yeah, this is excellent, I am having a ball!" And the first cannibal yells back "Slow down! You're eating too fast!"

A young girl was having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother on her first visit home since starting university.
"Mom, I have to tell you," the girl confessed. "I lost my virginity last weekend."
"I'm not surprised," said her mother. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just hope it was a romantic and pleasurable experience."
"Well, yes and no," the pretty student remarked, "The first three guys felt great, but after that my pussy got really sore."

A nerdy Enron accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy.
The big guy says, "I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?"
The accountant replies, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I'd rather be the husband."
The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick."

The traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He finally began to pound, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," he said, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again?"

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment.
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he her asks what she'd like to do.
She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love to play your trombone."
So she plays it while he screws her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."
The other girl says, "Gee...do you think he'd remember us?"

Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, "We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday."
Jon says, "Why not Thursday?"
The boss says, "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel."