GATOR'S BEST PICKUP LINES
*If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public.
*My lips are registered weapons.
*Uh, do you like come here often, hah hah. I said "come."
*If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
*If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you between f and ck.
*Go up to a girl, lick your finger, touch her on the shoulder,
and then touches yourself (all this while she is watching you)
and say: "How about you and I get out of these wet clothes?
*That dress would look awfully nice on my bedroom floor.
*Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen
her clothes.
*Do you want to come back to my place and pet my dog?
*Walk up to a girl, put your hands on her shoulders, and
say, "I'd like to get something straight between us." and then
look at your (you know)......
*For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
*You look like a hooker I knew in Dallas.
*Ask: "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?" She
says "Yes". Ask: "Well, would you sleep with me for a dollar?"
She says: "Heck no, what do you think I am, a whore?"
Answer: "We've already established that, we're negotiating the
price right now."
*Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (reach up
and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP. (If she laughs, she's yours;
if she looks at you funny, apologize.)

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at Voodoo Daddy's Monday night comedy showcase. He's going through his usual run of stupid blond jokes, when a blond woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: I've heard just about enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person ... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women at large ... all in the name of humor. Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blond pipes up, "You stay out of this, Mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

Whatever happen to preparations A through G ?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food ?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injection ?
When a man talks dirty to a woman its sexual harassment. When a
woman talks dirty to a man, it's 3.95 per minute.
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word " lisp " to have an " s " in it?
How come abbreviated is such a long word ?
Why do you press harder on the remote-control when you know the
battery is dead ?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him ?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious ?

Little Johnny was playing with his toys in the living room right
in front of a big picture window. All of a sudden two dogs out
on the lawn came into view screwing each other for all they were
worth. Little Johnny looks up from his toys, sees the dogs in
the act and yells at the top of
his strong little lungs, "Mom! "Mother thinking something is
terribly wrong runs into the living room and asks, "What in the
world is wrong Johnny?"
Little Johnny points to the two dogs out on the lawn and
asks, "What are those two dogs doing to each other?"
His Mother looks out the window and sees the two dogs
screwing each other, and thinks to herself, "I can't tell my
little five year old son that the dogs are screwing each others
brains out!" So being quick whited she comes up with this
explanation. She tells him, "Well, the dog on top hurt his leg
and the dog on the bottom is trying to help him get home!"
To which Little Johnny replies, "So dogs are just like
people. You try and help somebody and wind up getting
screwed!!"

LOVE THOSE BLONDE JOKES:
The first two things that a blonde does in the morning:
1. She introduces herself. 2. She goes home.

What would a blonde say if you blew in her ear? - Thanks for the
refill!

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink? - That's
where you wash vegetables.

More Advice From Gator On How To Pick Up Chicks:
Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud' and
say: Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize?
"Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen
her clothes. "
"You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it
appears someone beat me to it.

"PICKUP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED
? I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.
? My love for you is like diarrhea-I just can't hold it in.
? If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was
Christmas, could I meet you between the
holidays?

QUESTION:
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a
noose around your neck?"

REDHEAD JOKES:
· How do you get a redhead to argue with you? - Say something
· How do you get a redhead's mood to change? - Wait 10 seconds
· If you love a Redhead, set her free ... if she follows you
everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts
your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours.
· What's safer: a redhead or a piranha? - The piranha. They only
attack in schools.
· How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer? -
There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.