MUSTA TOOK A WRONG TURN
A traveling salesman's car breaks down, and he walks over to a
near by farm. He knocks on the door and the farmer
appears. "Excuse me sir, but my car broke down about a mile down
the road, and I was wondering if you had a place I could stay,
just until morning, and I....." The farmer says, "Well, I can
let you sleep in the barn, but you'll have to sleep with my two
sons...." The salesman says, "Sons! I must be in the wrong
joke!"

SHRINK RAP
This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a worried look
on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm
having it again." "What dream?" asked the shrink, not really
paying attention. "You know," says the man, "the one where I'm
into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried
or am I just beating a dead horse?"

ELECTRONIC BANKING
So the other day, my friends and I went to this "Gentlemans'
Club." One of my buddies wanted to impress us, so he pulls out a
$10 bill. The "dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the
$10 and put it on her butt. Not to be outdone, my other friend
pulls out a $50 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the
$50, and puts it on her other cheek. Now the attention is
focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet,
thought for a minute.....then the banker in me took over. I got
out my ATM card, slid it down her crack, grabbed the 60 bucks,
and went home.

PAYBACKS
This guy goes over to his buddies house and knocks on the door,
it opens and there stands his friends wife. "Is John home?" he
asks. She replies "No I'm sorry he's gone out to run a few
errands." "Would you mind if I came in and waited for a few
minutes?" She opens the door and he follows her down the hall
and into the kitchen. "I can't help to notice how beautiful your
breasts look in that robe. I will pay you $100 if I could just
see one of them." The woman thinks it over for a few moments and
finally figures why not, it is a $100. She opens her robe
exposing one of her breasts as the man reaches for his wallet,
pulls out a $100 bill and throws it on the table. Shortly there
after while drinking his coffee he asks "Your breast was so
beautiful, I've got to see them both at the same time, I will
pay you another $100 if you will show me them both." She once
again thinks for a moment and decides, what the hell and opens
her robe giving him a good long look. He takes his time enjoying
the view, then opens his wallet, grabs another $100 bill and
throws it on the table and says, "I can't wait any longer, I
must get going. Please tell John I came by." About ten minutes
pass and John comes home. His wife meets him in the hall and
says "Your friend came by, you just missed him, he left ten
minutes ago." John replies, "Oh, cool. Did he drop off the $200
bucks he owes me?"

What is the last thing Jesus Christ said to the
Teamsters? "Don't do anything 'till I get back." - heard at Big
Mikes Beach Pub

What did the man in the yellow hat do when Curious George shit
on the carpet? He spanked his monkey!

A Texan, trying to impress a Bostonian with tales about the
heroes of the Alamo, said, "I'll bet you never had
anyone so brave around Boston." "Ever hear of Paul Revere?"
asked the Bostonian. "Paul Revere?" said the Texan,
"Isn't he the guy who ran for help?"

There's this company that makes a shampoo called "Gee Your Hair
Smells Terrific."
They have recently announced a new line of feminine hygiene
products….

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting
married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes,
and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting
divorced for the same reasons."

Why are politicians like diapers? Both should be changed
regularly and for the same reason. (heard at Tobacco Road)

I had a dyslexic girl friend while I was in the Navy. Then one
day she wrote me a John Deere letter…. - heard at Big Daddy's

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party? The cake
jumps out of the girl. - heard at Islander Sports Bar

PRACTICAL JOKE WHICH HAPPENED AT NIGHTMOVES OFFICES THIS MONTH:
Someone took a bunch of the round circles from the hole punch
and dumped them into Gator's umbrella. When he opened the
umbrella he got a shower of confetti.

So Picasso got mugged one night and had his wallet stolen. The
police asked him to make a sketch of the suspect for them to
distribute and he complied. Two days later they arrested 2 Nuns,
a Refrigerator and an Iron.