George Bush faces school children
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. 'Billy.' 'And what is your question, Billy? 'I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?' Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question time. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. 'Steve' 'And what is your question, Steve?' 'I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the f… happened to Billy?'

A colorful reunion
An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him. When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?" The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Find out about the cat
A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat. The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"

Giving off bad vibrations
According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing because the vibration became what seemed to be very strong, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.

Sad but true - drunken bears of California
LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8:
People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the Burlington Northern railroad tracks, where a train carrying hundreds of tons of corn derailed some time ago. The corn has fermented, and the aroma is attracting the bears. "The bears are actually intoxicated up there," said wildlife biologist Loren Hicks. And a grizzly with a hangover can be cross as a bear.

Tombstone Epitaph:
Oops! Henry Smith of Houston, Texas: Born 1903-Died 1942: Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

A case of mistaken identity
A nun is walking down the street, when suddenly a punk jumps out of the bushes and hits her over the head, proceeds to kick her in the groin and break her nose with a massive left hook. As the nun is lying bleeding on the floor, the guy looks down and says: You're getting slow in your old age, Batman.

Lil' Johnny on Politics
Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now." "Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."